In Celebration of Moms
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05/13/10 | The Women's Conference | 60 Comments




The Women's Conference Celebrates Moms

Maria Shriver on the profound power of motherhood and her own experience of being both a mother and a daughter.


 

We invited you to share your own personal stories about motherhood -- what your mom means to you or what it means to be a mom. The winners receive --


We've chosen the 3 winning comments. They are --

Kristy Campbell:

I’ve never felt as powerful as a mother as when I was 8 months pregnant sitting outside of the drug-testing lab with my teenage daughter. I had suspected something was going on with her and was adamant about finding out exactly what. As she screamed at me in the car about how much she hated me, I heard a voice come out of me that said… “Fine. Hate me. You'll hate me when you are 20, you'll hate me when you are 30, and you may hate me for the rest of your life. But, at least you will have a life from which to hate me. I am your mother. I am not your friend. And if you are doing drugs, I’m going to find out and deal with it.”

Our story has a drug-free happy ending and now 2 years later, my daughter is off to college and we are starting to evolve the mom/daughter relationship into a friendship. I love and value the current relationship I have with her, however, I know that if I hadn’t been a mother first to her, we would never be on this path to friendship.

stephsways:

I Love all the wonderful stories of 'Mommie and me,' by people who had warm milk by their bedsides and a fairytale told to them until their eye's were sealed with a loving kiss from Mom. At one time i couldn't stand to hear them. Mothers day was such a difficult time. It use to be, "Bah Hum-bug", on mothers day.

Mothers Day has always been a day of feeling guilty for giving Mom cards that didn't bare an ounce of truth of who we were. If i hadn't had such a great relationship with my own son, the yearly greiving over the relationship i never had with my Mom and achingly longed for, would have been unbearable. Yet as i go and grow through life i become more understanding of Mom's hurt and pain of never being loved by her own Mom. The suicide of my Dad, the loss of my oldest son, didn't help either one of us at all. But, when i tell you how much strength, courage, and love has risen in the midst of this family. Once i decided this generational abusive behavior would stop with me, It did. I was a single parent and my son who is now in law enforcement with a beautiful family. I was determined he would know without a doubt, he is loved. Now, i'm very passionate about leading others to a place of a 'Loving Reality'. I Love my Mom very much and now i know, she couldn't give what she never had.

Have a blessed Mother's Day and know, Love never fails.
May 2010

rrussell:

I and even more so my sisters are now my mother's mother. As my mother of 8 children in 10 years having just celebrated her 89th birthday is suffering from the early stages of alzheimers disease and her daughters have stepped up to care for her as she spent many years caring for us. I think how ironic this care is as we bath our mother in the same blue cast iron tub she use to bath us....was her hair as she use to wash ours, dress her as she use to dress us and feed her as she to feed us. But the one thing she still does for herself is to apply her make-up. Growing up I will always remember how mom taught us how to use make-up and to never leave the house without lipstick....needless to say my sisters and I always look fabulous when we leave our homes. 

Care for our parents comes full cycle. Many questions why we would do this instead of just putting mom in a 'home', but the choice my sisters and I have made is to care for mom as long as possible even as we care for our own families and self. Mom made room for us as we grew and now we are making room for mom. Happy Mothers Day..mom!


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  • EVERDAY IT IS A CHORE TO GET UP AND TO FACE ANOTHER DAY WITH OUT MY BELOVED DAUGHTER JOLENE. SHE WAS SO BEAUTIFUL AND WAS ALWAYS SMILING AND PEOPLE SHE HUNG OUT WITH SHE MADE THEM SMILE TOO. SHE NEVER JUDGED PEOPLE BY THE WAY THEIR LOOKED, DRESSED SHE WAS FRIENDLY TO EVERYONE.

    SHE LOST HER LIFE AT 25 YEARS OLD IN A TERRIBLE CAR ACCIDENT ON JULY 21, 2007. ON THAT DAY I LOST MY LIFE TOO. THE WILL TO GO ON AND HOW I WAS GOING TO GO ON THERE ARE NO PLANS FOR THIS KIND OF GRIEF. ONE DAY AT A TIME IS ALL THERE CAN BE.

    TO THE OTHER PARENTS OUT THERE I WOULD LIKE TO TOUCH MANY HEARTS AND LET THEM HEAR MY STORY i WANT TO SPEAK AT A CONFERENCE I THINK I CAN HELP TO REACH PARENTS THAT HAVE GONE THROUGH THIS GRIEF AFTER ALL WE HAVE BECAME A CLUB. A CLUB I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO, AND I SURE DON'T WANT TO SEE ANYONE ELSE HAVE TO BELONG TO THIS CLUB EITHER.

    Posted by MISSMYDAUGHTER, 18 May 2010.

  • My Mother Pearl--nick name "Pearly Shells" died five years ago of Alzheimers. Alzheimers is a horrible disease. I was with her when she took her last breath. I will never forget that moment--the room filled with so much golden light that I could hardly see. There is no doubt in my mind that God sends your Guardian Angel for every soul!! My Mom inspired me to create memories for my children and that is what I did. We had a swimming pool in our back yard which added both constant Fun and Exercise for everyone!! Yesterday at our Mothers Day Brunch table we laughed about the time the mice ate the box of money we had hidden in the garage for safe keeping and when the Policeman on his motorcycle followed us into our own driveway to give me a ticket!! For me, being a mother expanded me as a human being. I tried to give my children freedom and boundaries so they could discover who they were. They are now grown adults who are kind, considerate and caring human beings living their own lives creatively!! There is indeed another Mother to which I owe complete gratitude, and that is Mother Earth. For no matter how we treat her, she still continues to provide nourishment to millions of people. She knows how to nurture each plant to provide for each person, and it is our job to listen and learn. For without Mother Earth, we and bounty would not be here!! All love to you!! Gail Elen

    Posted by gelen, 10 May 2010.

  • When I was 14 my mother died. She was 34, had lived her life with asthma/emphysema, never smoked. in 1972, she owned her own business and made over $150 per year, a lot of money at that time, my father worked as a foreman at the air force base, so these resources were a new phenomenon. She was a Yankee transplanted to the south and struggled with the inherent racism that she witnessed every day. She taught my brother and I not to see color and to treat everyone, especially our maid Susie with kindness and respect. Mother encouraged us to read, said it would take us places we may never visit but could experience through the words. The requirement for the summer book club at the library was 20 books, mother would pay us $20 for the first 20 and 2.00 for each book after read during summer. My brother and I are voracious readers to this day. In July, before she died in August, we went to New York City for a family wedding. During that trip mother and I, went to the Plaza Hotel for tea and to ask if Eloise was around. I have never felt more special and I will never forget that day. The two of us dressed in our finest, Mother in a newly purchased Chanel suit that was lost on her church friends in Georgia and me in my pretty yellow dress with white gloves. What a fabulous memory and one of my last special events with a mother that I loved and lost too, too soon. When she died unexpectedly, I was lost. My years with her shaped who I am and I still miss her today, over 30 years later. She dances with angels in heaven and watches over me. I try to live a life to make her proud.

    Posted by Laura Bowen, 10 May 2010.

  • It is my mother who taught me that we have the power to overcome all obstacles and do what we put our minds to. She leads by example.

    For as long as I can remember, to my earliest childhood memories with the exception of one, my mother has suffered from severe arthritis. But she has refused to let her chronic pain and illness hold her back. At one point, she was unable to walk. Though sheer perseverance, I can proudly say that she is able to walk again.

    My mother never wanted my brothers and I to feel that we were at a disadvantage because she was ill. No matter how much pain she is in, she always manages to be there for us. From ensuring we had fresh home cooked meals (sometimes even making 3 or 4 separate dinners with each of our favorites) growing up; to taking us to to every little league game, skating lesson, swimming lesson, etc that one could imagine (even though she could not drive). We were the most decorated kids for extracurricular activities in the entire elementary school. This woman never took sick days even though she was absolutely entitled to them!

    I love you Mom -- thanks for teaching me to follow my dreams, for being my support system and my best friend.

    Posted by Selina K, 9 May 2010.

  • For as long as I can remember, to my earliest childhood memories with the exception of one, my mother has suffered from severe arthritis. But she has refused to let her chronic pain and illness hold her back. At one point, she was unable to walk. Though sheer perseverance, I can proudly say that she is able to walk again.

    My mother never wanted my brothers and I to feel that we were at a disadvantage because she was ill. No matter how much pain she is in, she always manages to be there for us. From ensuring we had fresh home cooked meals (sometimes even making 3 or 4 separate dinners with each of our favorites) growing up; to taking us to to every little league game, skating lesson, swimming lesson, etc that one could imagine (even though she could not drive). We were the most decorated kids for extracurricular activities in the entire elementary school. This woman never took sick days even though she was absolutely entitled to them!

    It is my mother who taught me that we have the power to overcome all obstacles and do what we put our minds to. She leads by example.

    Posted by Selina K, 9 May 2010.

  • My mother “mothered” me so I could be what she could not. But it’s bitter sweet. When I graduated from U-Mass Boston and then Harvard (at 34) my mom was the only one there.

    My mother is living 3000 miles away in the same house. I have two wonderful children, Jonah and Naomi. My daughter was born with a severe genetic disorder (Prader-Willi Syndrome) and traveling back and forth to the east coast, seeing family, friends and teachers who mothered me was the only thing that helped me cope. I became a single mom with limited resources or time to travel home after being wiped out financially (and emotionally) by an ex husband. Without these “mothers” I would never have been able to move forward in the face of great adversity.

    But like my mother before me, my children come first and my life is with them. Like my mother before me, I married a man with limited emotional capacity. Like my mother before me, I’m on a path that I never envisioned and I’m coping.

    My dream as a little girl was to grow up to be just like my mom. It has always been bittersweet to succeed at anything because although it’s my mother who encouraged me to pursue my dreams, she really never understood them and was never a real part of them. I miss her so much and have missed her for a very long time – ever since I became the woman she never could. Or did I?

    Posted by mamakim, 9 May 2010.

  • As the mother of two daughters, now aged 22 and 19, their growing up years were filled with pride for the milestones and accomplishments of childhood. Whether it was a first step, a first day of school, making honor roll, or getting cast in a musical production, my cup overflowed. Although these pride-filled moments are fewer as children grow up, these moments are monumental as they mature into young adults. One summer, when I visited the camp where Alyna worked as an Art Counselor after her senior year in high school, I was touched by the many adults with whom she had formed working relationships and friendships who couldn't wait to meet me and tell me how fantastic my daughter is. The impact their words had upon me filled me with a sense of delight that I hadn't known before. It was then that I realized that Alyna was no longer a child, she was truly a grown up of whom I continue to be immensely proud. As a mother, I believe there is no stronger sense of pride than to see a child appreciated and successful in the world independent of us.

    Posted by rissable, 9 May 2010.

  • I grew up in a home of total terror and abuse of my mother by my mentally ill father. As a child I often wondered why my mother didn't do more to protect us by leaving? As I got older I understood that she was protecting us, she took these beatings so we didn't have to! She eventually did get the strength she needed to leave my father. It was then that I understood that my mom was/is the strongest woman I know & I modeled my own parenting skills using her positives strengths. I don't thank my mom often enough for this! Thanks Ma!

    Posted by CarrieDust, 9 May 2010.

  • Among all those who have mothered me, one person significantly stands out. When I am in despaired, he comforts me. When I am in deep troubles, he prays for me. When I am lost or confused, he gives me the best and invaluable advice. When I am going astray, he leads me & guides me to the right path. When I am in darkness, he shows me the light. Despite his old age and poor health, he always keeps his smile so that nobody will be worried. He keeps serving every church member even when he is exhausted, even to the point that he was risking his health and life. He always wakes up at night to pray for us. In fact, he often cannot fall asleep because he is deeply concerned for all of those who are weak. His love is so genuine and deep that even little children can feel it and the rebellious teenagers cannot deny it. He is our pastor & grandpa, the best grandpa in the whole wide world. Like Paul, he is “gentle among us, like a mother caring for her children.”

    Posted by ElizaSiu, 8 May 2010.

  • I Love all the wonderful stories of 'Mommie and me,' by people who had warm milk by their bedsides and a fairytale told to them until their eye's were sealed with a loving kiss from Mom. At one time i couldn't stand to hear them. Mothers day was such a difficult time. It use to be, "Bah Hum-bug", on mothers day.
    Mothers Day has always been a day of feeling guilty for giving Mom cards that didn't bare an ounce of truth of who we were. If i hadn't had such a great relationship with my own son, the yearly greiving over the relationship i never had with my Mom and achingly longed for, would have been unbearable. Yet as i go and grow through life i become more understanding of Mom's hurt and pain of never being loved by her own Mom. The suicide of my Dad, the loss of my oldest son, didn't help either one of us at all. But, when i tell you how much strength, courage, and love has risen in the midst of this family. Once i decided this generational abusive behavior would stop with me, It did. I was a single parent and my son who is now in law enforcement with a beautiful family. I was determined he would know without a doubt, he is loved. Now, i'm very passionate about leading others to a place of a 'Loving Reality'. I Love my Mom very much and now i know, she couldn't give what she never had.
    Have a blessed Mother's Day and know, Love never fails.
    May 2010

    Posted by stephsways, 8 May 2010.

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