Every holiday season, families are gathering and preparing for the happiest time of the year. Responsibilities slow down, priorities diminish, and for once, the pressure to “do” finally frees our minds. At least, that is what this season is supposed to be like.
While generally, the holidays are joyous for millions of households, it is also one of the most stressful times of the year. With the constant pressure to seem perfect, provide for the family, and create magic that is going to last, what feels like peace at first quietly builds into emotional and mental weight.
Right off the bat, that idea doesn’t quite add up. Because the atmosphere is brighter and everyone seems to carry a bit more cheer, people say this is one of the only windows to actually feel the hope. But under the surface, those feelings do not tell the entire story.
One reason the holidays actually hinder mental health is because America has engrained an unrealistic expectation in our heads. No family has all the money to purchase every single gift, nor does every family have the capacity to achieve every holiday dream. In truth, the holidays are a myth that uncover a mix of complex, psychological issues.
Even real data shows this case is true. According to a recent Lifestance Health survey, 57% of people report the holidays are stressful, while only 23% say this time is only slightly relaxing. At the same time, 64% of Americans claim they would rather skip the holiday gatherings, due to the amount of anxiety it brings.
Not only that, people feel particularly strained during this season because of the financial burden that often comes with it. Gift giving and holiday travel is expensive, and many parents end up overspending just to make the family happy.
Prudence Hatchett, Leadership Resilience Strategist and Mental Wellness Specialist, adds her insight, “New research shows that 36 percent of Americans went into holiday debt last year, with the average amount rising to one thousand one hundred eighty one dollars. That is not just a spending problem, it is a sign that guilt and fear are driving parents to push past their financial limits. When we break the boundaries of our financial limits, we make the holidays far heavier than they need to be.”
What Hatchett and other experts would argue is that many families feel guilty when they do not meet all the holiday wishes. They spend money in hopes it will “fix” everything, but in truth, the constant finances enforce a sense of exhaustion during a time when we’re supposed to feel the opposite.
On a positive note, however, there is a way forward if families can push back and reclaim the holidays with the right mindset.
Hatchett continues to say, “I encourage families to be honest about financial limits, and incorporate fun holiday experiences the family can remember for a lifetime. Children remember connection, not price tags, and shifting toward that truth can protect both financial and mental health.”
Alleviating the unhealthy emotions starts by being honest. It is about normalizing realistic goals, and transparently acknowledging what can be done versus what cannot. By setting the boundary of what’s financially possible, it helps to shift some of the emotional burden.
Another crucial step toward finding mental clarity involves putting the “purpose” back into the holiday. It is okay for parents to encourage intention rather than tangible items. Planning events or spending time with loved ones is just as meaningful, if not more, than sticking to the gifts alone. This concept could also involve applying positive affirmation, where families take note of the things they are grateful for throughout the season, instead of focusing solely on the presents.
Whatever it takes to get there, rest assured the holidays should never be worrying for anyone. When families can take moments to pause and realize what really matters, it protects everyone’s mental space.
As you celebrate the holidays this year, don’t let the finances or the other holiday expectations ruin your experience. If anything, you can take control as long as you set the mental load you need to genuinely feel the seasonal spirit.
