Surround Yourself With Women

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Yancy Berns 200x200
Yancy Jack Berns

By Yancy Jack Berns

Men and women became lovers too fast.  They should have been friends first.  That way, they could have realized that, despite the good times, they just weren’t right for each other. We two sexes inhabit this world like an unhappy couple jammed in an apartment, stuck with each other for the children’s sake.  If square sex wasn’t fun, we’d probably live on separate continents by now.

It seems beyond any doubt that women are the champs of the human race, the prize winners, the evolutionary pinnacle.  And yet my graceless brethren and I have the women of the world in a glass box, from which they can only watch in horror as we clumsily tear the world down around us.

How exactly did this happen?  How did the insane sex get to be in charge?  And make no mistake, we are insane, fundamentally.  In fact, we men are lucky there’s not a third sex.  That’s basically how men can get away with being such a boring lot – because (straight) women have no real other choice.  We are the bearers of the seed.

The notion that men are encouraged to ignore the softness within is an old one. Men still most comfortably show “affection” by punching and humiliating each other. This is all clearly insane, a twisted perversion of some long-forgotten ideal. 
It is, in fact, an unchanged truth that most of us “guys” are raised by the media to fear open emotion and sadness, and to ignore any bruising of the soul.  So, consequently, unguarded humanness becomes the province of women, the sex that isn’t in charge, and you can see how we might have a problem.  (But seriously: Women are smarter than us, more intuitive, live longer, and have more skill in dealing with emotion.  How did we brutes get the wheel?)

Hard as it is for me to do so, I can’t help but feel sympathy for the barking slobs that represent my sex.  Men have been driven insane, I think, by this stifling of their essential humanity, by this inorganic desire to be always riding off to war. 
I stick with women.  Makes sense to me.  If I like having a woman sitting next to me, why not also enjoy having the ghost of the woman I almost was within me?  Again, makes sense to me.  I try to surround myself with as many women as possible, beyond just any significant other or mate, and that’s my advice to any like-minded men out there.  Carpet your life, end-to-end, with the fairer sex.  And I’m not talking conquests.  I’m talking about lighting incense, seeing to their comfort, and being an all-around acolyte.

So I’ll return to my opening metaphor:  The two sexes, forced together in a shotgun wedding of epic proportions, charged with the continuance of the species and the ruling of the earth, and yet all the while not really being right for each other.  Sure, women have learned to force themselves to like football; and sure, men, somewhere within that collapsing brow, realize that we’re missing a big part of this picture.  So if the Mayans were correct about 2012, and the big divorce is coming, then at least it can be said that we each grew during our time together, which I suppose is runner-up to happily ever after.

Yancy Jack Berns is a screenwriter and freelance television producer living in Los Angeles.

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  • Beautiful. Please share more, as I am starting to lose faith in MANkind...

    Posted by KKisler, 5 May 2010.

  • Great article! Enjoyed it immensely.

    Posted by surlymonkey, 4 May 2010.

  • Great Article! Really enjoyed reading it!

    Posted by Jrentzel, 3 May 2010.

  • Dear Yancy,

    This is a phenomenal piece. It's been a long time since I've read anything from a male feminist and I'm refreshed and empowered. You have hit the nail on the head: The fact that men are in power is indeed an accident, although it was a systematically destructive one that came in the guise of Christianity and its desire to quell the female spirit. In so many ways, their project has worked, but you are evidence of the new revolution taking place.

    Have you ever read the books "When God Was Woman" or "Woman and Nature: The Roaring Inside Her"? So much of what you talk about here is given historical frameworks that are telling and terrifying. There's more fuel for your fire there, I'm sure of it.

    I hope that this piece will spark more like it so we can continue the discussion. This world needs more men who are hip to the secret of women's power, and respect us for it instead of fear us. Thank you!

    With all my respect,


    Posted by ZuzuChou, 2 May 2010.

  • Excellent! Finally, the "stronger" sex has strengthened something of value-- his mind. Kudos to Yancy for such eloquence and insight.

    Posted by Tuffet, 29 April 2010.

  • How lucky those women are to have you in their lives. I am touched and inspired by your perspective. Please share more!

    Posted by ldewart, 29 April 2010.

  • Enjoyed this article very much. Would like to hear more....

    Posted by talk2z, 29 April 2010.

  • What a great perspective that makes me feel proud to be a woman and thankful that there are men like Yancy who appreciate us. This would be a great column!

    Posted by Aimie, 29 April 2010.